Thursday, January 29, 2009

Things that I am waiting for

Nibiru blog is coming back, today, and will resume regular posting straight through until the end of the universe, be that in 2012 or some other (perhaps predetermined) date. We'll be doing news, reviews, and analysis of all of the New Age garbage that is flowing out into the Internet and into mainstream culture.

But before we do, it is high time to lay down some ground rules for this 2012 thing. Attention, Nibiru-fearers. Lend me your ears, terrified New Agers huddling around your Edgar Cayce compendiums. I am about to tell you how you get a place at the table of a rational, informed conversation:

Bring the evidence with you.

Throwing down the gauntlet two posts (which is, over a year) ago proved fruitless. A few spectators whined about me "picking" on people for asking dangerous questions about their sacred cows. No one even tried to put up a fight. So here, let me help you: if you can do any of the following things, then you can write a post for this blog explaining your evidence and I will post it and we will have a back-and-forth debate for as long as we both can bear. But first, here are your payment options for a foot in the door:
  • Find for me the right ascension and declination of the planet Nibiru (as defined elsewhere on this blog) so that I can look at it for myself. At least one person who reads this blog knows what I'm talking about when I say that the RA and declination of Mars do not count.
  • Find for me any prophecy from ancient history (people born after the 2012 apocalypse hysteria was invented don't count), Mayan or otherwise, unequivocally stating that the world will end in 2012. Hint: the ending of a calendar does not mean the ending of the world. You don't even need to provide evidence that the prophecy will come true, only that it actually exists and is distinct from the normal end of a calendar cycle.
  • If you are one of the people who sees 2012 more as some kind of imminent "spiritual transformation," then you can provide me with a clear, concise, exhaustive definition of this "2012 spiritual transformation." It would be nice if you could throw in some evidence that such a thing will actually happen, but you New Age guys are so behind on your work that you get a pass just for clearly defining your terms.
And that's it, that's all you have to do. If you think that 2012 is going to be the return of Nibiru, all you have to do is to be able to find Nibiru (shouldn't be hard, because the demigod Zecharia Sitchen already gave you its orbit in the Twelfth Planet). If you think that 2012 has been foreordained to be the end of the world, great: show me where you read that. And if you're just a New Ager along for the ride, please, just tell me... what the hell are you talking about?